I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
