I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
