Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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