he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
