Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
