Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
