what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
