Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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