I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm really busy with my period
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