i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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