I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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