I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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