Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
