life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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