don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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