i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
