do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
