I am spending my child support on dildos
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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