Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the day after is always just damage control
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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