You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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