i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I could fuck to npr.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
