She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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