I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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