Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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