literally had 100 drinks last night.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
