Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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