he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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