I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
