on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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