he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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