I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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