I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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