she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
