did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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