I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
