"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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