I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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