just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
