Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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