My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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