Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
