Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
