Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
