3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
