I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
