thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
