He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Less talking, more tequila
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
