i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
