Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I faked an abortion last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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