I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
