hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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