So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
