I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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