If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
