Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
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