We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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