she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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