Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
