I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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