well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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