the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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