no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
